Dignan Dirkin Zazumba-Zaffodil is one of the three co-hosts of Hivemind. He was born in 1946. Since then, he has had a tumultuous past, encountering aliens, God, and even Dan Marino.
Dignan was born on October 11th, 1946, in Tulum, Mexico. He moved to Lithuania and grew up there, until he gained a drinking addiction and moved out in his early teens. When he was 14, Dignan encountered an alien pretending to be a shop employee at a Pier 1 Imports. According to him, the alien told him "goo goo bee bee beep", and then was beamed up to space.
In addition to Hivemind, Dignan is the host of Dignan's Fur Trading Bonanza, a show about the history of fur trading in North America.
Dignan has detailed his history in smuggling Egyptian salamanders out of El Salvador, incubating them, and hatching baby salamanders. He plans to "wring" the baby salamanders, as they secrete plutonium, which he plans to smoke.
Dignan worked as a sign spinner for the Little Caesars at 6 Mile Rd, Detroit, MI. He invented a sign spinning move he dubs the "triple twirl", and he has many competitors for his job, namely Bryce, Joey, and Angelica.
Dignan was on a pulled episode of NPR. Dignan said an unforgivably evil and heinous word in the first second of the interview, which led to his cancellation and removal from several Hivemind videos. Apart from that, he notes that Terry Gross, the host of NPR, is named that way because she is gross.
West-coast rapper Big Sean allegedly went on a date with Dignan to Dollyworld, where they were mercilessly chased by paparazzi. However, after the date, Dignan performed a magic trick which Big Sean found disgusting, which caused the latter to vomit. Dignan then cooked the vomit into a "human omelette" and ate it in front of him, leading to their breakup.
Dignan was formerly in a sexual relationship with a "bag lady", but was widowed after she died from a stray bullet during the Russo-Ukrainian War.
Mitch-L was a Scottish rapper and Hertz Rent-A-Car manager who divorced Dignan in 1998, due to her affair with a man named Ted, along with her infertility. Mitch-L and Ted have since adopted 4 orphaned dolphins, referred to as "fourphins porpoinses".
